"Senior Moments"

Lulu wants to ring the Bell

I have "senior moments" some times. I have flashbacks to freshmen year, with all its random memories and hodge-podge friend groups. The night we went around campus tracing outlines of each other in chalk, or snuck into all the buildings after dark and took photos with my roommate's stuffed monkey, Lulu (wow, we were such...interesting... freshmen). My phone contacts hold memories of those once close friends, including "Hubby," and "Tennis Dude," "The Bestest Asian Eva" and "Freshie fresh"about a freshman (now junior).

But those senior moments have moved on from just cute nostalgic memories to earth-shaking profound realizations. Well, at least they're pretty momentous when they hit me seemingly out of nowhere, Like yesterday: I realized that after school finishes my success will no longer be measured in grades. GPA won't matter anymore. I can define my own measurement of success. How freeing!

I still don't know what the future holds for me. But that's true for even those of us who have jobs or schools lined up. So I choose not to stress about it. Why ruin the last few weeks left of my college career by stressing over my future, which is held in God's hands? And I know even if it is tough (my graduated friends all say it is) it will still be good. Because seasons of rain cause us to grow, not just the sunshine (to paraphrase The Oh Hello's).

I've been practicing falling in love three times each day. Sometimes I fall in love with the way the morning light pours through my window in the morning, or with my apartment mate's quirky behaviors. But mostly I fall in love with little things about my college- the sound of music during chapel worship, or favorite paths in the woods. I'll miss it. It was good, despite all the tension and difficult growing pains we have been experiencing as an institution. But I know I'm leaving it in good hands, with smart, capable, compassionate people. It's time to go. And it is good.

Maybe that's why they call them "goodbyes."